Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

Spring semester is officially over. I survived finals week once again, and have actually been able to enjoy a week off. I spent my week at home with the fam, and it was great.

The end of the semester wrapped up quite nicely. I finished my first practicum at the Indiana State Vocational Rehabilitation Agency, and had a great experience. I landed an internship at the St. John's Anderson Center for next fall. I earned some pretty awesome grades while I was at it! :) As great as it was, I'm glad it's over. I'm ready for it to be summer. Summer holds the promise of a new adventure, and I can't wait to get started.

Oh right... that happened today. Today was the first week of classes for Summer Session I. I am enrolled in a class that teaches us how to work with trauma survivors. It's going to be great. Intense, but great. I have an advanced prac where I'll continue to see my two clients in the Practicum Clinic at BSU. I'm also working at Camp Isanogel part time. That won't start for a few weeks yet, but I begin staff training on June 1. I'm starting a research project of my own that will look at quality of life in long term cancer survivors and their interpsersonal coping styles. So, my schedule is still pretty busy, but it's summer and that makes everything easier to digest! Sunshine and luscious leaves and beautiful flower of all colors! :) I can't help but smile.

As for my week off, well it was pretty great. The first weekend I took a trip with Mom, Dad, Ann, and Craig to Rockville, IN, to spread my grandparents' ashes in a place they loved. It was an emotional trip, but it was a beautiful day. One that I will not soon forget. I take comfort in the fact that my grandparents are at one with nature in a very beautiful spot that they would love. I miss them dearly, but I know they are still watching over me. They would be very proud.

The rest of the week was spent hanging out and relaxing. It was great to be at home with the family and the doggie. I've learned so much and grown so much in the past school year. It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from IU. It's incredible how fast time goes. Kind of scary. Won't be long before I have a M.A. in Counseling! Holy cow! Look out! :)

Well, it's off to bed for me. I'm fighting an ear infection and a cold, and I need my beauty sleep. :)

Love Who You Love

Just downloaded the new Rascal Flatts CD today -- LOVE this song.... Take a listen! :)

Easter, etc.

Fortunately I have had some time to relax and breathe since April started. I was able to have an entire weekend off for Easter. No Caring Arts. No study tables. So, I went home and spent some time with the fam and the Tobster! It was great to just relax and do nothin. It was a brief glimpse of what summer is normally like for me. Not this summer. I'll be taking an advanced practicum and 3 other classes. I'm also working as a day counselor at Camp Isanogel here in Muncie. This will be the first summer that I haven't been home working at Salamonie. I'm gonna miss that for sure, but it's time to move on to something bigger and different. I'm excited about spending a summer in Muncie. My friends will all be here taking classes, and I think it will be a blast. I have a mini vacation planned with Amy (my roommate) to Chicago (her hometown). She's going to show me around like only a true Chicagoian can! I have three weddings to attend/be in as well. So, there is a lot planned. I can hardly believe that it's April. Only a few more weeks and I'll be half way through my Masters! Aims and I just renewed our apartment lease today also. Exciting stuff!

That's all for now -- I'm ready for warmer weather to be here and stick around. I'm tired of these 50 degree, dreary, rainy, April days! Tomorrow is supposed to be beautiful!!!

April Showers...

So, I didn't exactly keep my word about updating every day during spring break.... Ooops! What can I say? Even though I was home, I was still pretty darn busy trying to squeeze everything in in one week. But, everything went well. I got to spend a lot of time with Linds and help her do wedding stuff. Always a fun time. I also celebrated my 23rd bday with the fam. That was fun also. So, spring break was a great relaxing break from school.

I wish I could say I got to ease back into school when it started again, but that was not the case. I was thrown in head first pretty much, and for most of the past 3 weeks felt like I was on the verge of drowning in the deep end of the pool. Classes were in the midst of that crazy time the the semester that is filled with projects, presentations, and exams. It was just nuts! But, that's how it works. You'll have weeks where you have nothing to do and weeks where you don't have enough time in the day or sanity to get all of the things done. And yet, miraculously they all get done.

I've also been on the hunt for an internship for next year. We are required to do a 600 hour internship for our degree. There is a list of sites we can pick from, but it's pretty darn competitive. It reminded me of applying to graduate school except now you know and are good friends with your competition. That adds a whole new level to it. I tend to think I can handle stress with the best of them. I've had enough practice over the past several years. But, graduate school continues to push me to my limits. I was at a breaking point at the beginning of last week. I had just been turned down for my number 1 choice for internship, and the stress had finally just culminated. I broke down, and wondered if I was in the right place or if I had the abilities to be a counselor. I hate questioning myself, but I think that it's important to do every now and again.

I turned to a good friend of mine from IU. He is finishing up his PhD in social psych, and knows all of the ups and downs that grad school can bring. He shared some very valuable information and gave me some amazing support. I was also fortunate enough to be able to spend some time with my family and extended family at a birthday party. I am lucky enough to have a family - extended included - that is very supportive and proud of me no matter what. So, between friends, family, and my own inner strength, I made it through! So, thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of those people who support me and love me. :) I wouldn't be who I am today without you all.

The end of last week answered all of my questions and my doubt cleared. I had an internship interview at St. John's Anderson Center on Thursday morning. It was sort of my last option before consulting the list again and starting back at square one. Thursday was just one of those days where I woke up and everything felt right. I had a client scheduled at 9, and the intake went amazingly well. So, I started off with a great deal of confidence. The night before I had facilitated a group for individuals who were HIV+ in my group class as a demonstration, and that went really well. I also took the opportunity to ask my instructor, who also happens to be in charge of internships at Lucina (the one I was turned down for), for some feedback on my interview just to make sure I didn't throw myself under the bus and wasn't aware of it. She said absolutely not and that it was just a fit thing. So, Thursday's interview rolled around, and it went spectacularly! She offered me the position about half way through the interview. Everything felt right, and I knew that I was supposed to end up at the Anderson Center. It was a beautiful moment. I have a very strong connection to St. John's Hospital and Anderson Center. I had three grandparents who worked at St. John's and Aunt Ann worked at the Anderson Center when it was first established. I knew that my grandparents were there with me and looking down with all the love and pride they could muster. It was one of the best moments I've had in a long time.

So, the end of last week ended all the exams and projects and presentations for a while. I have a couple of weeks to breathe before it's time to think about finals. I'm a lucky lucky girl. :)

Spring Break: Weekend 1

I'm officially on spring break! I decided to try a daily post while I'm home and have some extra time on my hands. So, stay tuned for more updates about my week "vacation."

Weekend 1:
Mission: Lindsay's Bridal shower, relaxation, spending time with Ann's crew and mom and dad.

Mission accomplished.

As Lindsay's maid of honor I took charge of throwing her bridal shower. We had an "around the clock" shower for her and both sides of the family. It went very well, and I think everyone had a great time. It was a blast to plan, and I'm glad I got to do that for her. It's insane to think that we've been friends since 7th grade and she's getting married. It seems like just yesterday we were fighting over who liked who better on our trip to Washington DC. How time flys! The wedding is June 13, and quickly coming up! :)

As for the rest of the weekend -- well it's mainly been catching up on some R&R. I took a nap today for the first time in probably 2 months, and it was amazing! It rained like crazy, but it was a slow and gentle rain that seemed to soothe my soul. Nothing like being home to release the stress and craziness of being a graudate student. :)

I do have some work to get done this week, but I'm not on any schedule. I also am making sure to enjoy my break while I have it. A good friend taught me the importance of that, and I'm following his advice. I know I'll be thankful when the semester pick back up in full force next week.

Mom is taking a few days off and I'm helping Linds with some other wedding stuff. Other than that I'm playing it by ear and going where the wind blows.

More to come tomorrow!

March Madness

No, I don't mean basketball. (Although I do LOVE me some college bball!)

I mean the insanity that comes with it being close to spring break and midterms are in full swing. I have my first midterm tonight in Research Methods. It will probably be the hardest one that I'll take this semester. Soon after I'll be being evaluated on my practicum skills, and then it's time for papers, projects, and presentations. Let's not forget internship applications, summer employment searching, and the assistantship hunt! Needless to say my state of mind most days is frazzled.

I just had a great weekend at home. I got to spend time with Aunt Cheri as she recovered from her surgery (quite wonderfully I might add). Then I went shopping with mom, dad, and Ann for Lindsay's bridal shower stuff. That's coming up this Saturday, and I'm really excited about the games and decorations and such! Should be a blast! So, needless to say, I needed a trip home more than I thought I did. Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.

Spring break is almost here. I have Lindsay's bridal shower Saturday. Mom is taking Monday and Tuesday off to just hang with me. Then the rest of the week will hopefully be devoted to finishing the book I'm reading and tackling some school work in prep for the craziness that will explode after I return to school. But, perhaps most importantly, I'll get to spend some quality time with the Tobster! Then I beleive we are doing the traditional birthday celebration the last weekend.

I love March! I think it's my favorite month! Birthday, spring break, first day of Spring, the promise of new leaves and flower blossoms and warmer temps!

SPSP 2009

I'm officially back from the conference in Tampa. What an adventure that was! All in all it was an amazing experience. I felt a bit overwhelmed and a little out of my league at first, but I had some great support while I was there. It's kind of funny that I've only ever flown to Tampa. I've been there twice for rowing training trips. Don't get me wrong -- I like Tampa, but hopefully my next plane ticket have a different destination printed on it.

A quick rundown of the trip -- I flew out Thursday morning. My roommate drove me to the airport in Indy (which is fabulous now that they have redone it!) and I met up with Ed, Sam, and Lile. For those who dont' know, Ed (Dr. Hirt) is my former adviser and chair of my honors thesis. More importantly he's a really good friend. Sam and Lile are second year PhD students in the social program at IU who work in Ed's lab. We had a blast flying down together and catching up. We met up with Abbey who also did an thesis with me last year under Ed. It was great to see her and catch up.

The HirtLab Gang. Sam, Ed, Me, and Lile

Thursday night was Abbey's poster session. I was glad she got to go first and I could see how it went. It was very casual and fun, but I was still nervous for mine on Saturday. In the meantime, I went to talks and heard all about the upcoming research that's being done in social psych. Very cool stuff. I got to hang out with some IU peeps and went to dinner. Had a great time.

Abbey at her awesome poster!

Trying on some awesome sunglasses at a vintage store in Ybor City before dinner.

Ed tryin on a hat! It's a good look for him.

Saturday afternoon was my poster session. I was nervous, but it went better than I could have imagined. I was lucky enough to meet Dr. Mark Muraven who did some of the early ego-depletion work which is what I based my research on. Very cool to meet him and discuss my work. I got a lot of very positive feedback and response to my stuff. I recently just sent my poster to about 10 earger researcher all around the country and one in Canada and one in the UK. :) That just made all the blood, sweat, and tears worth it.
Me and my poster!Like a proud papa. :)

It was a great trip, and I didn't want to leave, but it's also nice to be back home in Muncie. I appreciate the routine here, and it's good to be back.

Awesome!!!

Tampa Bound

I'm headed to the Society for Personality and Social Psychology Conference tomorrow morning. I'm presenting the work I did for my undergraduate honors thesis there. I'm pretty excited about heading to some warmer weather and being able to catch up with my IU pals. Should be a great 4 days of social gatherings and social psychology! More updates to come after I return!

Here is the abstract from my poster submission to give you an idea of what it's about...

ILLUSORY FATIGUE IN THE MARKETPLACE: THE EFFECTS OF
PERCEIVED RESOURCE DEPLETION ON CONSUMER CHOICE
Marla B. Alexander, Edward R. Hirt, Joshua J. Clarkson; Indiana University-
Bloomington—Recent research within the domain of self-regulation
has demonstrated the importance of perceived resource depletion in
overcoming actual resource depletion (Hirt & Clarkson, 2008). The
purpose of the current research was to investigate the impact of
perceived mental resources on the quality of consumer decision-making.
Participants first performed a modestly or highly depleting task before
receiving feedback regarding the supposedly replenishing or fatiguing
effects of an aromatherapy candle in the experimental room. Under
modest depletion, participants took the aromatherapy feedback at facevalue,
such that individuals given the replenishing (versus fatiguing)
feedback perceived less resource depletion. Under high depletion,
participants misattributed their depleted state to the aromatherapy
candle, such that individuals given the fatiguing (versus replenishing)
feedback perceived less resource depletion. After manipulating people’s
perceptions of their mental resources, individuals were presented with a
series of product choices as well as the Smith/Brown department store
task (cf. Sanbonmatsu & Fazio, 1990). Individuals who perceived
themselves as more (versus less) depleted made more errors in choosing
objectively better products and performed more poorly on the Smith/
Brown department store task, irrespective of individuals’ actual level of
depletion. Furthermore, this pattern of effects on choice behavior was
observed only for individuals who enjoy and engage in effortful thought
(i.e., high in Need for Cognition: Cacioppo & Petty, 1982), suggesting
aspects of this perceptual process may be metacognitive in nature.
Implications for the role of metacognition in perceived resource
availability, as well as future directions regarding illusory fatigue in
other phenomenon, are discussed.

Be Here Now.

Finding my groove...

Well a new semester is here again. It seems like just yesterday that I was starting my very first semester at Ball State. Now I'm 1/4 the way done with my Masters. Crazy. The word that comes to mind that best describes the first 2 days is overwhelming. It is taking every ounce of my soul not to just flip out. But, alas, I have retained my composure. I am very thankful to have such great friends to lean on in the program and outside of the program. We're all going through similar things this semester, and we'll all get through it together.

As for my three week break -- well, it was wonderful. Although the first two weeks were a complete blur, I had an amazing time with my family and catching up with friends. I was able to spend a great deal of time with Craig, Em, and the twins this break, which I am so thankful for. Those boys are growing up so fast, and they are wonderful. It was also nice to just spend some time with Craig and Em who I get to see often, but usually only for a day or so and in the midst of the rest of the family and chaos. Fortunately, the last week of break I finally got some down time. I spent it reading, catching up on TV, and hanging with my favorite furry guy, Toby. It was great. As usual, I was ready to head back to Muncie to get things set up and started there.

This semester is a big deal. I will see my first client, work on continuing research, present research at a national conference, and perhaps even see my first publication come through. I'm set up to do my practicum at the Vocational Rehabilitation Center here in Muncie. I will be doing more VR types of tasks such as assessment and employment placement for my clients with less of a focus on the mental health counseling, but it will be a good experience. I will be taking an advanced practicum in the summer to catch up on the mental health counseling aspect. I am also working through the academic center as a supervisor for the student athletes here at Ball State. It's only part time (about 7 hours a week), but it's right up my ally and will hopefully lead to an assistantship for next year. I'm still babysitting a couple days a week for the Spodek girls, and I'm helping a doctoral student collect data for her dissertation. That involves approaching patients at the family practice clinic to see if they are willing to participate and walk them through the necessary procedures for the study.

So, I'm faced with a very full load, but that's what grad school is all about. I will love it once I recover from the initial shock of this week. I'm excited to see where the wind will blow me. Thanks for keeping up with the journey.

Below are a few pics of some very dear BSU pals of mine at a dinner party before break.

The Sacred Sisterhood's first dinner party!

Trying to take a fun shot on the floor. Harder than it looks.


Me and Ash after a wonderfully delicios meal.

Cheri and I in front of the tree.

After dinner we snuggled up to watch some TV. Katie and I under the blanekets!

Song of the Day...

I've been listening to this song on repeat all day.... Here are the lyrics and the video...

More updates on life soon to come! Can't believe a new semester starts TOMORROW!!!!


"Let It Be Me"

There may come a time, a time in everyones life
Where nothin seems to go your way
Where nothing seems to turn out right
There may come a time, you just cant seem to find your place
For every door you walk on to, seems like they get slammed in your face
Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call.
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you cant go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If its a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Feels like your always commin on home
Pockets full of nothin and you got no cash
No matter where you turn you aint got no place to stand
Reach out for something and they slap your hand
Now i remember all to well
Just how it feels to be all alone
You feel like youd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own
Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you cant go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If its a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

10,000 Miles

Amazing....

Procrastination.

Yup. I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, but I thought I'd take a break and update the good old blog. Procrastination is my middle name. I'm just thankful I've learned to perfect my mad procrastination skills over the past 4 years. You would think I wouldn't do it seeing as it usually causes frustration and stress, but it's just how I operate. I need the pressure of a deadline in order to work efficiently.

Anyway, the last few weeks of the semester are always killer. Grad school is certainly no different. And, just like the crazy person I am, I've been adding more things to my plate. I'm trying to set up my schedule for next semester along with a job and research stuff. It's great fun. But, I only have a few more hurdles to get over before I can head home for about a month of rest, relaxation, great food, family, and friends. Ahhh...

First off, Thanksiving break was great. I had a blast with the fam, and I was very thankful to reconnect a bit with Craig. It seems we are in different phases of life and don't get to talk quite as frequently as we used to, but it was really great to spend some time with him over the weekend. He's my only brother and I love him with all my heart. While I understand not being quite as close to him now as we once were, it still kinda stinks. But, like I said, I'm thankful for the time we do spend. The twins are just incredible. I'm such a lucky auntie! They are getting so big and learning to crawl and walk. It's so wonderful. So, all in all it was a great trip home.

Now it's back to the grind. I presented a poster at the Indiana Rehab Association Conference today, which was really fun. It's a very small organization of professionals from around the state who work in the rehab field. It was a great chance to meet and network with some really nice people. So, that was fun.

Now, I should get back to writing my counseling demonstration paper that's due tomorrow and finish cutting out snowflakes for our porch decorating contest!!

Magic.

I don't care how old you are, falling snow has a magical quality unlike anything else. It can create warm and fuzzy feelings despite the bitter cold and biting wind. Today it snowed in Muncie for the first time, and I found myself looking at the sky and smiling. It was beautiful. The first snowfall of the year. Magical. I was also lucky enough to witness a few children coming out of school and cheering with joy that it was snowing. It warmed my heart. It's the little things in life. Like falling snow. :) I hope you read this and smile. From my heart to yours.

To Love Somebody.

HALLOWEEN!

Pics from the fantastic Halloween weekend! :)

Great friends. Great costumes. Great times.

Group Shot: Hippie, 80's workout girl, Amy Winehouse, Lady Bug, Pirate, Angelina

The Pirate and the 80's girl! Arrrrrrgh!

Not too sure what was going on. A contest of some sort. Perhaps a new dance craze?


Aww, Lady Bug and Sebastian the Bee with "Amy."

Life According to Henry Roth...

Ok, let me explain.... First off the movie Dedication is an amazing quirky romantic comedy that "follows a misogynistic children's book author who is forced to work closely with a female illustrator instead of his long-time collaborator and only friend." I bought it on a whim one time because I enjoy Many Moore a great deal. It's an Independent Film that has a certain flare for real life that I can't get enough of. Anyways, there are several lines in the movie about life. I pasted them below because they are interesting analogies to think about depending on what's going on in your life. I will admit most of them are depressing at the very least, but they fit in with Henry Roth's character very well. He is the classic angry pessimist who has very little happiness in his life until he meets Lucy and falls in love in a strange, but more natural way than most Hollywood Blockbusters portray. So, yeah. That's my post for today. :)

Life is a horrible little giggle in the midst of a forced death march towards hell.

Life is nothing but the echo of joy disappearing into the great chasm of misery.

Life is nothing but the occasional burst of laughter rising above the interminable wail of grief.

Life is a single skip for joy.

Relaxed.

I'm so glad to say that I feel more relaxed than I have in about a month. I had a great weekend at home. It was my last weekend at Salamonie, and it was cold, rainy, and quiet. Mom and dad came out and ate dinner with me on Saturday night which was a lot of fun. I got some studying done, which was even better. But, thankfully school is on a down swing at the moment. We all have about a week to catch our breath before we start in with the next round of research papers, presentation, and such before Thanksgiving break. The icing on the cake was that class was canceled last night! So, I had a nice nice of relaxing and working on my Halloween costume! Great times. So, the motto for the week is relaxation. This weekend we are having a Halloween party, and I can't wait to just be able to have fun and be in Muncie ALL weekend. I mean I have some work to start doing, but I can do it on my own time. It'll be wonderful!

Bittersweet.

I want so badly to hate the middle of October. It is a bittersweet mix of beautiful fall leaves, cooler temperatures, thoughts of Thanksgiving and Christmas added with the stress of midterms, papers, and a general sense of anxiety produced by the mid semester rush. Fortunately, the leaves, the weather, and the crisp fall leaves make everything better and I am left with only a mild dislike for this part of the school year.

Speaking of midterms ... they are almost over. I've finished a paper, a video session, and two tests already. I have one more exam and a paper to do this week. Then freedom for a couple of weeks before gearing up for finals. How time flys! I can hardly believe we're talking about having a Halloween party already! It's insane how fast time goes. But, it's been a blast so far -- minus the 3 hour psychopathology midterm I took last week. haha. Yikes. Talk about intense! But, I think I kicked it's butt, so it's all good.

I went home this weekend for my second to last weekend at the reservoir. It was a good weekend. I helped mom and dad outside and got to see Craig and the boys on Saturday. Saturday night was very eventful at work. Never a dull moment at Salamonie - even on a Saturday night in late October. A man fell about 20 fee while swinging across a revine and had to be air lifted. We had two stray dogs, but no firewood to sell to the cold campers. And to top things off the entire property's power went off around 8:30. Talk about freaky. Apparently someone ran into an electrical pole on 124. Yikes. It was a whilrwind night for sure. Next weekend is my last weekend. I'm very excited, but it's weird to think that it's the last time I could work there. Bittersweet.

So, things are going well. Just the usual crazy schedule, but still having fun!